Patterns are established very early in life so breaking free of old patterns is often difficult and tedious. New ways of being have to be practiced repeatedly to replace the negative patterns.
Until we heal the underlying trauma and feel lovable and worthy of being treated with respect and kindness, these learned dysfunctional patterns will likely be repeated because they are familiar and what we know.
Let’s look back on some of the areas of our lives previously mentioned that could be on a negative repeat cycle.
Now, try to drill it down further. Use these questions as a guide:
Is there something familiar about these persons/scenarios?
Is it gender related?
Or perhaps, you chose to focus on relationships, and you narrowed the destructive patterns in your relationships to friendships:
Where did I learn about friendship?
Do I know what a good friend is?
What is it I see in my choices that is familiar?
Now ask yourself more questions. Let yourself sink into these questions and write down your thoughts.
I highly suggest that you hand write rather than type your thoughts and responses. Studies have shown that writing by hand is both relaxing and therapeutic. And that we connect with different parts of our brain when we do it. There’s also some science that connects the hand with the heart.